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Parents everywhere praise their kids. Jenn Berman, author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids, says, “We’ve gone to the opposite extreme of a few decades ago when parents tended to be more strict.” By giving kids a lot of praise, parents think they’re building their children’s confidence, when, in fact, it may be just the opposite. Too much praise can backfire and, when given in a way that’s insincere, make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents’ praise has put them.
Still, don’t go too far in the other direction. Not giving enough praise can be just as damaging gas giving too much. Kids will feel like they’re not good enough or that you don’t care and, as a result, may see no point in trying hard for their accomplishments.
So what is the right amount of praise? Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the quantity. If praise is sincere and focused on the effort not the outcome, you can give it as often as your child does something that deserves a verbal reward.” We should especially recognize our children’s efforts to push themselves and work hard to achieve a goal, “says Donahue, author of Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters. “One thing to remember is that it’s the process not the end product that matters.”
Your son may not be the best basketball player on his team. But if he’s out there every day and playing hard, you should praise his effort regardless of whether his team wins or loses. Praising the effort and not the outcome can also mean recognizing your child when she has worked hard to clean the yard, cook dinner, or finish a book report. But whatever it is, praise should be given on a case-by-case basis and be proportionate(相称) to the amount of effort your child has put into it.
原文翻译：
父母们都会表扬孩子。Jenn Berman，著有《培养快乐自信孩子的 A 到 Z 指南》，说：“我们已经走到了几十年前父母往往更严格的另一个极端。”父母认为通过给孩子很多表扬来建立孩子的自信，但事实上，情况可能正好相反。过多的表扬可能会适得其反，如果以一种不真诚的方式给予，可能会让孩子害怕尝试新事物或冒险，因为他们担心无法保持在父母表扬所给予的水平上。
不过，也不要走得太远。不给足够的表扬可能与给太多表扬一样有害。孩子会觉得自己不够好，或者你不在乎，因此可能认为努力取得成就没有意义。
那么，正确的表扬量是什么呢？专家表示，表扬的质量比数量更重要。如果表扬是真诚的，并且关注的是努力而不是结果，那么你可以根据孩子做了值得口头奖励的事情的频率给予表扬。Donahue 是《无畏育儿：放下担忧，专注于真正重要的事情》的作者，他表示：“我们应该特别认可孩子努力推动自己并为实现目标而努力的努力。”“要记住的一件事是，重要的是过程而不是最终产品。”
你的儿子可能不是球队中最好的篮球运动员。但如果他每天都在努力打球，无论他的球队输赢，你都应该表扬他的努力。表扬努力而不是结果也可以意味着当孩子努力清理院子、做饭或完成书面报告时，给予他们认可。但无论如何，表扬应该根据具体情况给予，并与孩子所付出的努力成比例。
Summary:
Parents nowadays shower their kids with praise, aiming to boost confidence. However, experts warn: praise can backfire. Incessant, insincere praise can make kids fear failure and hinder risk-taking. Conversely, neglecting praise fosters insecurity and demotivation. Striking the right balance is key. Experts urge focusing on effort-based, sincere praise, celebrating the journey over the destination. Your child might not be the star athlete, but praise their daily hustle. This kind of recognition, tailored to effort, empowers kids to thrive.
现在的父母都喜欢表扬孩子，以为这样可以提高孩子的自信。但专家警告说，表扬可能会适得其反。过多的表扬，尤其是不真诚的表扬，会让孩子害怕失败，不敢冒险。相反，如果父母不给孩子足够的表扬，孩子会觉得自己不够好，缺乏动力。那么，如何才能正确地表扬孩子呢？专家建议，表扬的质量比数量更重要。应该关注孩子的努力，而不是结果。比如，即使孩子没有赢得比赛，也要表扬他努力打球的态度。这种表扬会让孩子感受到父母的认可，从而提高他们的自信心。